Something You Can't See
by Agent Texas
Summary: Eren sees—sees his father walk out on him, sees Armin leave for good and his reflection in the mirror, but Levi is in a world too impossible to comprehend—Levi has never seen a thing, not his mother's face or a wall, nothing but blackness. Levi believes sight deludes love, is it truly possible for Eren, who has seen everything, to truly love him?
1. Chapter One, Currents

I can't believe Jean convince me to tag along tonight.

I look around at the deep reds and eclectic knick knacks decorating the place-old newspaper clippings, Japanese fans, a sports jersey and even a deer head-providing a background to the singles from that met up from around downtown Columbus.

Jean registered a month ago and has gone on several horrific dates since. I grin as I remember the first; some girl who was fifty pounds heavier in person and seven years _older_.

Somehow he hasn't been discouraged, so when news circulated about this gathering of hot singles just a block from his apartment he was all over that shit. Personally I don't understand online dating-or really dating in general-but I decided to tag along when he begged me with, "I'm sorta nervous." Honestly, the only reason I'm sitting in a cramped bar full of strangers is to watch Jean sweat his ass off and embarrass himself. For being outgoing, obnoxious and annoying Jean gets shy at the sight of attractive girls, it's hilarious but at this rate he'll officially be more socially awkward than Bertholdt by tomorrow. That's a huge accomplishment, whether he'd consider it one or not.

Upon arriving an hour ago Jean immediately ordered himself a beer to help calm his nerves and I chose my seat in the furthest corner to sip my beer while enjoying the ensuing awkwardness. He's trying to be so smooth walking around with his back straight, talking to everyone who looks at him and accidentally butting into ongoing conversations in an attempt to fit in. I laughed when Jean dumped a girl's drink down her cleavage shooting beer out my nose.

I'm starting to wonder though, are these people trying to find a soul-mate or a one night stand? It's starting to look like an even split or these girls know guys will flock to them if they wear exposing clothing and don't care about the particulars. I don't get any of it, I'm a useless virgin who's only kissed my high school boyfriend and hasn't anyone since. To be exact we _did_ grope but now Armin is going to Harvard while I'm bound to Columbus State, a community college where I'll waste a few years studying high school again because I didn't learn it the first time around.

I really don't care about dating or sex, it's overrated as far as I'm concerned and besides, I need to stay single for awhile to focus on my studies so I can transfer to Ohio State-the sooner I'm out of here, the better. I don't want-or need-distractions. My friends accused me of being antisocial this semester but I'd merely been holed up in my dirty dorm to focus on assignments. Now, several essays, papers and fifty cups of coffee later, I'm officially on summer break; and what a better way to say goodbye finals than to watch Jean humiliate himself? Mikasa is going to have some stories tomorrow.

I stifle a laugh as Jean leans close with an awkward grin while talking to a young blondie. What a fucking masterpiece. I tilt my cup back and frown, it's empty. Oh well. I get up to buy another, pressing on through the crowd of people.

People have been hitting on me all evening, one girl even asked if I might be interested in her buying me a drink but I told her _no thanks_. I didn't want to disappoint her by confessing I'm flat out gay. Besides I don't want to piss anyone off, the last thing I need is to receive murderous glares from anyone, so I've kept to himself and tried to avoid all human contact. I have a talent for it under normal circumstances, like I have a force field around me that repels everyone-_especially_ potential dates.

I've wondered sometimes if it's my psychical appearance, I've been told I have a villainous look in my eyes.

I'm unconcerned; until I move into an empty apartment I doubt it'll bother me.

I just need someone to talk to without romantic annotations, as long as they'd listen, I'd be happy. Right now I'm lonely in that sense, Jean can't stop making fun of me for long enough, Mikasa has her own shit and my other friends are far too distant. Oh and did I mention Jean is a gossiper who will tell everyone? Reluctantly I have to admit defeat, we're friends and part of the reason I hang out with him is because he's sexy as fuck. Nothing could make me admit that aloud but I have no problem thinking it.

I slip onto a bar stool and place my empty cup down, gaining the bartender's attention with a swift _excuse me _to ordering another of the same.

Without Jean to distract me I'm feeling anxious about my summer plans. Connie asked me to go camping in July and Mikasa wants me to go canoeing next week, but minus those things my schedule is open. Oh, I do want to sleep for three days straight too-which comes first-it's the _once I'm fully energized_ part I'm seriously scared of. I refuse to spend my whole summer watching anime, eating junk food and scrolling through Tumblr like last year. I shiver at the memory, last year my boredom got so bad I started reading weird crack fan fictions and using slang like OTP in conversations outside the internet. When I caught myself about to tell Jean I shipped two characters I begged my mom to let me stay with her for the remainder of my vacation.

I literally jump when I hear a voice from right next to me. "Did you say something about fan fiction?"

All the blood drains from my face faster than if I'd been bleeding out from a terrible wound, looking over to see the person sitting next to me. I'm met with a blank stare directed at my chest unblinkingly.

I bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood, _Fuck fuck fuck he's attractive!_

He's considerably shorter, has narrower shoulders and a petite build, dressed in all black, jeans, leather riding boots, a white collared button up and a cardigan. It suits him well, contrasting attractively with his pale, flawless skin and night black hair. Still, it's his eyes I'm drawn to, they're a stormy gray that appear nearly white. He is extremely handsome.

I suddenly realized with a start why Jean is prancing around making a fool of himself, I'm so fucking nervous I don't know if I can speak without sounding like a moron. Don't forget mortified, he heard me mumble _fan fiction_ under my breath! It's over before it even had a chance to start. "Uh, um...well, I was just thinking to myself." Forget paling, the heat is returning to my face with the fury of a blazing fire. He is still staring at my chest blatantly and holding his glass of beer on the bar, it's sorta creepy actually. Why the hell is he just staring at my chest? Do I have a stain? Fuck.

I frown as my intuition tells me something is seriously off about this guy, but I can't place it. As far as I can tell he seems relatively normal-well minus being exceptionally attractive—but something isn't right. I attempt to catch his eyes but they don't move at all-now that's _definitely_ weird.

"I suppose that makes sense, I just thought you were trying to speak with me." I blink once at the slight note of disappointment in his deep, drawling voice. Suddenly it hits me, this event is about meeting potential partners yet all I can think about is my miserable social life. In that respect I'm sorta a loser, if I'm truly lonely shouldn't I be up talking like Jean is? Instead I'm talking to this attractive guy who so obviously isn't expecting to meet anyone despite his best efforts, hurting him because of my ill intentions this evening. I'm an asshole, I shouldn't have come here to laugh at Jean.

But this guy..._I like him._ It's impossible for me to understand why he's sitting here all alone. He's hot-extremely so-and he seems like the kind of person who can hold their own, or maybe I'm weird for brushing off his insistent staring in exchange for the nice view.

I think fast, I've only got one shot at gaining his attention! Of course I'm bad at this sort of thing so I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, "Do you read fan fiction?" Oh god, did I really just ask if he _reads fan fiction_? I'm astounded he hasn't walked away.

He stays though and tilts his head slightly with a small smile."That would be difficult for me since I'm blind."

Oh, he-my mind goes painfully blank for a long moment as I put together the pieces-his blank stare, not reading, why people are avoiding him-then I stare, shocked, gaping. Blind as in _he can't see_ and doesn't realize he's staring at me, it suddenly makes so much sense.

I jump from my stupor when a fresh cup of beer is placed in front of me, thankfully I preoccupy myself with getting the bills from my wallet. When I look back over he's turned away as if he suspects I've left at the revelation and taken advantage of his disability to flee silently.

I feel anger twist my gut in disgust, people using his blindness as a means of escaping his company, how fucking disgusting. Right about now I could use a Tumblr post reminding me there are still decent people living on this planet. Just imagine it-it's kinda like using a crippled woman's immobility to rob her. That's why he's here, because he can't find anyone willing to accept his condition.

I swiftly sweep my gaze down when something cold suddenly brushes my arm, it's him checking if I'm there as he flinches back on contact. I gasp and not because he's freezing cold but because something zaps me when he brushes my warm skin with his fingers. My throat constricts as butterflies flutter in my stomach making it difficult to find my voice even as I mutter nervously,"I'm still here."

His eyes flutter open and he nods eagerly in acknowledgment as if this is a miracle.

I'm tempted to pretend he didn't expect me to leave but I just can't, I take a sip for courage before stating, "Most people leave without telling you."

"Well," he begins hesitantly, when he speaks again his voice is far more confident. "Yes, or they get awkward as hell until I make an excuse to leave."

I press my lips into a thin line, nodding grimly. How fucking low, he's a person who deserves as much respect as everyone else. How can someone just walk away knowing they're using his disability to humiliate him? And furthermore, in front of people he wants to impress? It's times like this I'm truly disgusted with this world; if you're different-even against your will-you're discarded like a defective toy. Shit I should know I've been disregarded as slum all my life. Growing up other kids would throw rocks at me and call me a loser simply because I wasn't dressed in new clothes or being drove to the mall every season for outfits or toys. But it's worse for him, he's been treated shitty for something he can't even change at least I can get a fancy job title to reclaim my dignity, there's nothing he can do about what's wrong with him.

"Bastards," I grumble unpleasantly, gazing down at him. Even with knowing he's blind I smile, holding out my hand. "I'm Eren Jaeger and I don't give a shit if you're blind."

He's pretty self aware as he locates my hand and shakes it firmly, his a lot smaller than mine and softer than baby's skin-I don't want to release it. "I'm Levi and I don't give a fuck if you read fan fiction." I burst out laughing while internally I'm rolling his name over in my head and putting it to his face with his iron colored eyes and pale skin.

I realize with startling joy that despite we've only just introduced ourselves he already knows something I don't tell anyone else in fear of being labeled a freak. Best of all-he doesn't give a shit. There's this instant connection between us.

I didn't want to date again...until right now.

"So uh, Levi, can I ask you something strange?" He releases my hand but keeps eyes on me even though he can't see. I watch him locate his beer by running his hand along the counter until his fingers bump the glass. His nose wrinkles in disgust at something.

"Sure," there's a lilt to his voice I don't really understand, I hope that doesn't mean he finds me amusing. I take a gulp of my beer and go back to studying him: his nails are neatly trimmed, he looks unnaturally clean and he seems to be pulling at his cardigan too, as if to make sure it hasn't come out of place-it seems like a habit.

"Um, I was kinda wondering how old you are." Obviously he's older than me but I can't seem to put a number on it. Of course I plan on telling him my age, I'm not ashamed no matter how much older he might be. "I'm 21."

"Twenty five," he says it so casually I stare at him, damn well almost missing it, "I'm a twenty five year old rehab specialist working at Ohio University Medical Center."

That's impressive, I'm left wide eyed in awe because that's much more than I plan to do with my life and I'm perfectly healthy. I'm sorta jealous because Levi must be really smart plus he doesn't let his handicap stop him, he must be really determined. I don't even have enough motivation to get out of bed on time to go to my boring ass bookstore job.

"You're really successful." He shrugs, tapping the rim of his glass with his fingers. I switch my gaze to his eyes even though it's obvious he's blind, I really love his eyes they're a pale blueish gray, sharp like he's constantly glaring at you and they alone make it apparent he doesn't take shit from anybody.

"And you're really easy to impress. I don't have anything beyond my job, I've never even kissed anyone." How could he have gone through high school without being kissed? I have the crazy notion that I could kiss him but I don't know how he would feel about losing his first kiss to a random stranger. I bite my lip, struggling to stop staring at his as he says barely above a whisper, "Eren, what do you look like?" The question catches me off guard. His voice is deep and soft while still being tough, it's enough to give me a little more self confidence.

"Uh..." How do you even _begin_ to describe yourself to someone? I want to go generic but I know that's not going to satisfy him. In a moment of bravery I gently grip his chin to tilt his face upwards. "First, my face is up here."

"Mm," he hums in recognition.

_Shit, _now I have a clear view of him and he's ridiculously sexy with high cheek bones, striking features and dark, thick lashes. He blinks once slowly.

"I have dark brown hair um, with bangs too, but they're long, it's wild you know. And I have big green eyes so people think I'm really cute looking but I think I'm hot, not cute." His lips cork up, amused by my obvious attempt to make him more curious. "I'm five six and a little tanned but I dunno why because I'm like a fuckin' vampire an-" I'm silenced when he rises his hand to my face, making his intent obvious, even so, I don't stop him. I allow him to gently caress my chin with his hands that are soft and deliberate. I enjoy the sensation of the same intense spark from earlier as he slowly runs his fingers along the shape of my jaw and up to my temple. I close my eyes as he traces the lines of my face from my thick brow to my chin to meticulously map out my features.

When his thumb wanders lightly over my lips I instinctively parting them, but his hand falls away with a noisy exhale.

"You're handsome." I let out my own breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, heat flooding my face once more as I watch him. His eyes are narrowed but his brows are in a softer angle, he looks pleased.

"You're very beautiful and handsome..." I hope the beautiful thing doesn't bother him since it's used more often to describe girls, it was just the first thing that came to mind. He runs his hands over his cardigan again.

"Ah...I wish I knew what I looked like. I only know that I have black hair, that I'm short and people ask me if my eyes are white."

"Short?" I chuckle because he is but I'd never feel comfortable asking him about it, someone must have been suicidal. "How tall are you?"

"Five two." I stifle a laugh-damn he's four inches shorter than me, I don't think I've met many guys that tiny, if any.

"Well, you're really hot." I can't believe I said that! I will my blush away, feeling like a teenage girl. Gah! I'm not a teenager _or_ a girl! I have no excuse! I gulp my beer until it's empty for a distraction but it's drained pretty quickly so I don't have anything to do but ponder my out of character boldness.

"It doesn't bother you I'm short?"

"Wha-what?" I frown, how many people think that's a huge turn off? Ah, who am I kidding? Women especially usually only like tall, broad and super manly dudes, I just sorta of like it because it's unique. "Uh, no."

"Or that I'm blind?"

"Why? Should it?" It's easy to imagine the answer; a lot of people will run at the revelation I'm just not one of them. Jean is though, he's proven that to me in more than one shocking insistence. Once a girl hit on him who happened to be an amputee and he blatantly told her he wasn't interested in dating someone who would need taken care of like a baby. Sadly he's beyond shit like that, he even hates on me because I volunteer at a lot of charities and homeless shelters when I have free time. He badmouths me, _"he was at that homeless shelter again"_ like it's something to be ashamed of.

"Wow," Levi says suddenly as he scoots closer with that tiny smile lighting up his face again. "That's the first time I've heard that one. Where the fuck have you been all my life, Little Shit?" I laugh quietly, he's amusing even though it's only partially a joke. I have to wonder if he's drunk. Anyway, I'm more fascinated and transfixed than I was when I first saw him, how can someone be so thoughtful and flippant at once?

"Oh, you know in Granville Ohio drivin' my bitchin' clunker and readin' fan fictions." For a moment I fear he doesn't get my sense of humor but then he laughs once, sharp and sorta rough like he hasn't done it in awhile. He gulps his beer and then laughs again.

I note he's almost out so I order him another. It's stretching my drinking budget for tonight but I know it'll be worth it.

"Oh fuck, we have an inside joke." The realization hits me that we've just met and we already have an inside joke nobody will understand. I grin, I've never gotten along so well with a stranger, we're just sitting here having a great old time drinking and enjoying each others' company. Shit I hope this is chemistry because the alternative is that we're just dumb drunks.

Levi startles me by saying suddenly as I pay for his drink, "Eren, tell me something crazy you've done." I rack my brain for the few things I've done that could be labeled crazy-jumping off my roof into a pile of snow, pranking my uptight father...

"When I was sixteen I went to this party-"

"Oh shit," Levi cuts me off. I laugh, he can already sense the upcoming secondary humiliation.

"I was drinking a little."

"Dumb ass."

I smile even though the story is still horrendous to recall. "Anyway, I was sorta known around school for being crazy and wimpy so I was trying to step out of that role by going along with dares and shit. This jock guy dared me to streak down the street in the dead of night screaming my head off, which is a stupid idea obviously but I was so desperate that I got bare ass naked and ran down the street screaming like an insane person. I woke up all his neighbors."

Levi's brows pull up and he shakes his head in disbelief before he punches me in the arm. Ouch, fuck he punches hard. I rub the spot.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" My cheeks heat up again, I haven't told anybody about that night except Armin since he was my boyfriend and Mikasa because she forced me after one too many people laughed at me in the halls the next day. Needless to say she didn't think it was funny. A lot of people got punched that day, some pictures were passed around and my reputation switched to gutsy _and_ crazy.

"No idea." I lean closer to place my hand on his beer right over his fingers. "May I have a sip?"

"Fuck no," he says loudly, "I'll buy you one Eren, sharing drinks is filthy." He does, and only a minute later there's another bottle in front of me as he awkwardly locates his cash, sheepishly asking what to pay with. I point out the bills so he can place them on the counter. If he's been blind all his life, how can something so small as asking for help bother him? I'm curious but afraid to intrude.

"Uh, I don't mind helping you so don't worry about it, alright?" He cocks his head in my direction without facing me.

"I usually don't give a shit, except..." He places a hand on his cheek, from this angle I can clearly make out his reddening face-is he _blushing_? It's cute even on a smart ass like Levi. "I hate asking attractive people for help with trivial things." Now it's me who starts blushing from the compliment, imagining how he must feel having no choice but to ask for help. The opposite of me who doesn't depend on anyone for anything since my parents are absent and Mikasa is always doing her own things, I'm as independent as the word 'independent' gets.

"I-I don't get that very often." Levi turns completely to face me and his brows turn up on instinct.

"You better not be two hundred pounds of fucking Twinkies or I swear." My eyes widen in shock at his accusation, then I burst out laughing as I place his hands on my shoulders-that are quite boney thank you very much.

"No, people just look for super models and I don't exactly match up to those standards." Hastily his hands wander down from my shoulders over my biceps to my elbows forcefully so his palms ride every dip in my skin. He roughly goes back to my shoulders and wanders over my torso, slowing on my chest as if reminding himself to savoring this. He should be, I'm in pretty fine shape. I gasp as his fingers deftly exploring my defined stomach as he bites his lip, brows furrowed in deep concentration. Fuck if this is his thinking face...I might have to make him think more. His hands withdraw as if burned when he accidentally brushes my groin, my toes curl in my sneakers-shit, it was an accident but it was hot.

"Your body," he says just above a whisper, voice raspy, "You're gorgeous, Eren." I like the way his tongue curls around my name with a seductive D where the R should be. "Why are you single?"

"Why are _you_?" He snorts like the answer is ridiculously obvious.

"Because I'm pissy, short and blind."

"Well I'm obnoxious, dense and antisocial." This time it's him who guides my hand to his elegant neck where I run my fingers along the sensitive flesh until I can entangle them in the silky hair on the back of his neck. My pulse is racing. The thought I don't want to stop touching him hits me with a strangely high intensity.

He leans into my touch and I gasp again as his gorgeous eyes flutter closed.

"Hm..." I bite my cheek as his hot breath ghosts over my wrist. "I like you," he confesses quietly.

"I like you too," I admit sheepishly, unable to say anything grand with the way his soft skin is pressing into my hand. A wave of courage slams into me so I ride it, caressing his temple with my thumb. "Um, can I confide something?" His silence urges me on as I trace his brow with my heart pounding in my ears. "I...uh, I came here to laugh at my friend, I didn't intend to meet anyone."

His brows pull up, damn he's cold like he just stepped out of a freezer. "Too bad, because you did." This connection is so odd to me, Armin and I hit it off but we were awkward in our first conversation, Levi and I aren't awkward at all. Without trying we can talk like we've known each other for years. Is it because we're so attracted to each other? Or because we have similar senses of humor?

He sighs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Give me your number."

I hesitantly recite my number, putting my name as _Eren AKA Little Shit_ even though he most likely won't know until someone tells him.

"Uh, can I have your number too?"

"Only if you promise not to text me at four am."

Er, this is a real concern...I have a tendency to sometimes forget most people aren't up in the wee hours of the morning when I'm up playing video games and send texts trying to start conversations at three am. Most times I don't realize the hour since they blend together if you spend more than four hours staring at your computer screen, others I'm trying to irritate Jean. On the bright side this has resulted in several hilarious exchanges between Jean and I because he'll usually reply bak if he's drunk. For example, one time I sent him _where R U_ and he said _in UR closet,_ when I demanded to know how he said _cuz' Im sexy fck_. Whatever that was supposed to mean. Or wait, can Levi even read texts?

Forget texts, I'm curious about something else. "How do you use an iPhone?"

"Well, it's easier than most phones." When I say nothing he retrieves the phone again, feels the edges and turns on the screen. "Siri call Eren."

Suddenly Siri blurts out the contact doesn't exist.

Well, damn. Levi frowns in suspicion, eyes narrowing as I take his phone to fix my name in his contact list. "Okay, I get it...but er, I put myself as Little Shit."

"Damn kid you're slower than constipation." He stows the phone in his jeans. What the hell kind of analogy is that?

I try my best to ignore it, clearing my throat while sheepishly scratching the back of my neck. "Sorry I'm kinda new to this_, _I've never met someone who was, uh..." I don't know how to say it without coming off as rude.

"Someone who's blind? You don't have to dance around it, I've been blind all my life so it's just a fact of life."

I nod in recognition despite knowing he can't see it. Well that helps me feel more comfortable I can't say it reassures me I can broach the subject. We have a connection like an electrical current but I can sense a wall between us that's far thicker than the ones between me and other strangers.

Our lives are parallel, two worlds in the same place that never touch and never dare cross paths. One is full of vibrant colors of all shades, the other trapped in infinite blackness.

This thought must leak into Levi's conscious as he speaks with a sudden uncertainty. "My life...truthfully, I think it's different than yours but I don't care, I've never liked someone like I do you. I want you to take me out somewhere on a date. If you don't like it, then you can just never call me again-I won't bother you." The last sentence is rehearsed like he's said it a million times. It comes out desperate, all I hear is _give me a chance,_ _even a small opportunity._ I have a way out, I always did but his acceptance of this feels...fresh. I wouldn't abandon him because of his blindness, but regardless of the reasons I think it's always possible this is all because we're drunk.

We'll go somewhere without drinks, somewhere we can talk without a bunch of weirdos bothering us. I smile as I realize where we could go, "Okay, I will. I'll take you out to dinner."

His lips are pressed together in a terrible attempt at restraining a smile. "I'm looking forward to it. When is good for you?"

"I'm open all week." He says nothing as if this is a vital piece of information.

"...What about tomorrow night?" I recall my plans with only mild disappointment, my three days of endless sleep can wait.

"Yeah, that's fine."

We work out the finer details: we'll meet at seven in front of his place-apparently he lives across the street and says the walk will be plenty safe for him-then from there I'll drive to the restaurant. I realize a bit sadly that he has to put a lot of trust in strangers to date, has to trust I'm not some creep who will kidnap him. It'd be way too easy and it's scary to imagine what could happen to him, even though I don't know him I fear that someone will trick him. The thought of him being hurt makes me vengeful, I feel a rush of fire in my chest as I imagine some creep telling him they're going on a date but taking him into the middle of nowhere to kill him. Fuck I've got it bad, don't I?

I gasp softly when Levi bites his lip and shoves his hands into his pockets with a sense of gaining courage about him. He's got something to say but isn't sure how to word it, so I wait patiently until he finds them. His head tilts up as if he's looking up at me. "Eren I'm a little tipsy, will you walk me home?" I can tell it's just an excuse to drag out our conversation but I can't argue, I want to talk to him just as much even as my clock indicates it's nearing one AM.

"'Course I will." He stands, extending what I think is called a walking stick which, by the way is the most uncreative name in the world. He can keep up with me and seems pretty normal but I insist on excusing people out of his pathway-the thick crowd parts for him to go through to the door, looking at him if to say _what's up with this weirdo?_ Maybe it's best he can't see that.

The cool night air hits me hard, with a low groan of displeasure over the sound of noisy car engines and the hustle and bustle of the city I hesitantly grab Levi's elbow. "Let's go to the crosswalk, unless you don't mind getting run over by a truck." He allows me to lead him to the sign so we wait for the signal to change to _walk_. We're both suddenly silent, but I find it nice we don't need to fill the silence with words.

Once it turns I guide him across the street, I can only assume it's the apartment complex with the brick and ivy growing up the side. It's really cool looking: old, historic...I can only imagine what it must look like inside. Levi breaks away from me to make his way up the front steps and pull the door open in one practiced motion. This time _I_ follow _him_ as he flawlessly begins up the stairs without even a slight hesitation. How the hell does he get around so easily?

I trail after him like a child, watching him use the railing as a guide to go up one set, then another and a third until I'm starting to worry he doesn't know which floor we're on. Out of nowhere he whispers _four_ under his breath. He moves down a hall while running his fingers down the doors on the left side, counting under his breath. This is how he knows which door is his? He has to count to his so he can know? That's pretty creative if I must say so myself.

He stops finally and his lips cork up in a smirk. "50?" I look at the crooked numbers on the pale gray door and laugh. Shit he's a fucking genius I'm not even joking, how does someone do that?

"Yeah." He flashes his teeth, proud of himself and I can't help leaning over and gently pressing my lips to his cheek. My heart seems to stop at his low, surprised _oh_. "See you tomorrow, Levi."

His cheeks are blood red but his voice is still convicting. "Che, you better show up, Brat. I'll be waiting." With that he digs out his keys-or really _key_-and unlocks it after a brief fumbling. I smile despite we're about to part ways. I'm tired, I'm nervous and I'm excited all at once which is an unpleasant mixture, I'm so thankful I get to go home and sleep.

"I will, don't worry. Goodnight, Levi." He slowly pushes the door open and without looking up at me—since he doesn't need to-smiles blissfully. He looks gorgeous like that.

"Goodnight, Eren," he hums. Only two seconds later the door is shut and I'm standing alone, smiling like an idiot. I don't even care if I'm acting like a swoon teenage girl-I can't wait to see him again.

I hope he feels as anxious as me.

_It's been so long since I posted something decent, I hope I didn't miss any mistakes. If I did, let me know and I'll fix them ASAP._

_Also, yeah I know I made Jean kind of an ass in this but don't worry, he has his reasons. _

_Anyway, comments make my day, follows and favorites too, so don't hesitate to drop any or all of those things!_


	2. Chapter Two, Merely Thoughts

It's downright cold.

The wind is blowing relentlessly against my body, leaving me shivering despite the two shirts and thick pants I'm wearing. It's funny because as a child I used to find the sound of wind calming, now that I'm older it's more of a sign of rain than anything. It's fall though, so I suppose that's unsurprising.

I shiver again, resisting the urge to go inside and curl up under my sheets like I do all winter, the only thing stopping me is the inevitable scolding I'd receive.

My mother has always nagged me about acting inappropriately; if I got cold I would curl up tightly even in public or if I got too hot, I'd pull my hair away from my forehead. My mother told me that wasn't "normal" so I wasn't to do it but I don't get it. If you're cold, why should it matter what you do to warm up? I've come to accept that the world I live in isn't the same others live in where appearances, behavior and status are everything. Where I am there are no hairstyles or colors or different types of cars, or even decorations for a room. A room is a room, a home is a home, a pair of pants is a pair of pants. It sounds simple in theory...except I just don't fit in.

I pull my legs up to my chest, ignoring the girly giggle from right next to me. Unlike my mother, my sister Isabel finds my behavior funny and cute. I grunt in annoyance at her obvious _you're so cute, big brother._ I can't see shit, but I somehow doubt I'm cute.

"So," my mother's voice is accompanied by the clacking of heavy footsteps, she'd been showing her new shoes to Isabel earlier when I showed up. "Do you have a date yet? Or no luck last night either?"

Forget cold, cold is an adjective that no longer applies to me, I feel a burning in my chest all the way up my neck and my cheeks.

My mind conjures up memories from last night. Although I was drunk-which makes everything fuzzier-I can still clearly recall Eren who had stumbled into my path with the grace of a full grown elephant. He was there to watch his friend make a fool of himself, not to meet anyone-obviously, he wasn't exactly being smooth _or_ charming, just awkward as hell-just so happens I find the latter more attractive. Go ahead, try and flatter me but I hate it and I'll most likely tell you to get away from me.

Something about my expression must be enough for them, though god only knows why. "No way!" Isabel shouts suddenly, "big brother! Who is it?"

I groan, burying my face into my knees. The last thing I needed was for my nosy family to find out about Eren. Until this moment he has sorta been this dark little secret I'd wanted to hold close since I've rarely kept anything from them. Especially dates.

For instance, a couple years ago I met this guy and I _really_ liked, Erwin Smith. He had this really deep sexy voice, was super tall, broad and he didn't runaway when I told him I was blind-and that I had been all my life. _He_ asked _me_ out with the promise to take me someplace fancy and I went straight to them only to get humiliated when, after two dates, he tried to come onto me. I could tell he didn't want to see me again if I wasn't going to put out-which I had no intentions of doing. It bothered me even though I didn't know him, another date that was a total waste of my time. Since then I've been picker about dates, which was why Isabel had me join , I guess I have her to thank for last night.

"Levi!" my mother cries in distress. "What's their name?"

I relent with a sigh, there's no hope of keeping this to myself now that it's out, I need to find out what exposed me and fix it immediately. "His name is Eren Jaeger." I feel myself getting hotter again just by saying his name-I love the sound of it and how it rolls on my tongue. It's German, I know due to my never ending curiosity of other cultures. He told me he grew up somewhere in Ohio which is pretty interesting, maybe his family moved from Germany somewhere along the line.

"Is he tough?" Isabel growls the word "tough." I think back, well his shoulders were definitely broader than mine and he had impressive biceps, even his abdomen was covered in muscles so...I know my mother refers to men in magazines with toned abs to be badass. Magazines, I have concluded, must be some high order for only exceptionally attractive people.

"Well, I dunno he's taller than me and really handsome, so yeah-I'd say so." There goes that heat again in my face, I press my fingers to my cheeks where it's most prominent. I don't really understand what this sensation is and I've never asked anybody, it must not be noticeable though? I always get hot when I'm feeling shy or embarrassed, which is pretty uncommon with the exception of today. And last night. Most people just ask me why I'm short so last night's compliments on my appearance were strange and awkward. Although to answer why I'm short, _I dunno, fuckface._

"That doesn't help! Everyone's taller than you!" I put my palm flat against the top of my head as if to compare heights, the soft strands of my hair are pleasant against my skin.

"Not you." She give up on this train of thought with a disgruntled _hmph_ and I can't resist the urge to smirk. My mom explained height to me using an example: that it helps you reach things, she put cereal on a high shelf and told me to get it and when I couldn't she demonstrated height by bringing it down to me. Her only flaw was that I had been nine and only wanted to eat some Fruit Loops.

"What's he do for a living?" Leave it to my mother to ruin the whole thing. She's always more concerned with finances and having someone to take care of me when she dies than whether or not I actually enjoy Eren's company.

I frown as I realize he didn't tell me anything of the sort, in fact I told him far more about myself than he was willing to tell me about himself. I don't talk much usually; except when I'm drunk, then everything goes out the window and I let people boss me around or whatever else they want. I sincerely hope that doesn't put him off, because looking back we really got along beautifully-a term I use to describe things that make my heart race. Beautiful is perfect for Eren.

"I don't know," I admit. If only I hadn't been drunk I would have the down low on him already, I'm good at that when I'm sober. Although apparently pointing out the reasons people are lying to me is a huge turn off, so maybe it was for the best.

The silence that follows is enough to tell me she's displeased, she doesn't think it's okay for me to push his profession to the back of my mind. It's dumb as hell, I make enough money to provide for myself and another person, but my mother has always been this way. As a teenager I resented her for it and these days it's not really all that different. I can't help feeling insulted that my own mother thinks I'm an invalid who can't take care of myself. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I can't take care of myself just as well as everybody else, even if doing so is more complicated. I don't want Eren to treat me like that either, I want him to believe I'm just as capable as him.

"It's fine! I'm sure he's got a great job, right Levi?" Isabel, as always, is trying to placid our mother with false reassurances. Personally I don't give a shit if she thinks Eren is a loser because I know he's not, even if he has a shitty job. He's only 21, what can you really expect from someone that young? I'd just recently graduated myself and I'm new to my job, new to my apartment and new to living alone and I'm 25.

"He's 21, so he's probably in college." I clasp my hands together since they're beginning to get stiff from the cold.

I make a mental note to ask him about it tonight so my mother can get off my back. Honestly if I'm lucky enough to meet someone I love, it doesn't matter to me what their job is, I could support two people anyway. Eren seems responsible enough to be studying something sensible, maybe he's going to be a teacher, I had wanted to be one until my mother told me I couldn't, because I'm disabled. Speaking of which, disabled is a fucking dumb word-it's a nice way of saying someone requires special care. Which I fucking don't. One time in middle school I beat up two boys in the playground when they thought they could pick on the "short, creepy blind kid." I got detention but it was totally worth it to prove I could hold my own.

"Just be careful, your father was younger than me and look-"

"I know," I snap, avoiding talking-or thinking-about my shitty father since I'm still in a decent mood. Think about something else like...Isabel once told me I get caught up too early and scare people off but it really can't be helped, I've wanted to fall in love since I was thirteen and grasped the topic. I've read books that make me feel warm inside. The characters in those stories are so happy yet I doubt books do the feeling any justice. I want to fall in love and I have for so long I get caught up and fall easily. It's really a vicious cycle.

"Is he taking you out?" Eren had seemed excited when I asked him to take me out to dinner, his words were tripping over each other in excitement, it was so _human_ that I could tell he was trying to be cool. No matter how endearing he is I won't take back calling him a brat, I love how he gets flustered when I call him that. I can tell from the tone of his voice he was flustered rather than annoyed, though other people might have just assumed he didn't like it I have amazing hearing and I'm used to deciphering feelings from sound alone.

"He's going to take me to dinner tonight." I'm looking forward to it even as I'm anxious. In the back of my mind I keep telling myself we were drunk and could meet up today only to find we don't get along at all. I don't plan on pretending I'm nice either since putting up facades for dates doesn't make sense to me, if he can't handle my real personality then he might as well move on. I'm always just me, I can only hope he's the same way.

"I'm so excited for you! You have to tell me everything when you get home!" I pull my open jacket closed to begin buttoning it since I'm freezing my ass off. I hear a timer begin dinging from somewhere inside, a creak and then the clacking of my mother's shoes.

I'm taken from my vigorous work of getting the buttons through their respective holes when Isabel speaks up, "You think he wants to have sex with you?"

"What?" I say in chagrin.

God Isabel! She is almost as bad as my mother. For fuck's sake, sex is the one thing I try to _avoid_ thinking about. Even if _trying_ is the only thing I tend to succeed at doing when it comes to sex.

"Hey, I know guys and most guys only want one thing..." I bury my face in my hands, I can't believe she's talking like she thinks that's all Eren wants. Hell are there verbal cues that's all someone wants? With Erwin I didn't suspect a thing until he made a psychical move to kiss me while attempting to grope me.

Or I'm horrible at detecting sexual tension.

"Don't do it honey! You're not ready!" I can hear my mother's footsteps approach and clinking as she serves us our lunch.

Totally not ready: I'm only 25 years old, graduated from college and settled into my own home. Read with heavy sarcasm.

I've read smut so I sorta know how it all works and the insinuation Eren might want to have sex with me is strangely arousing. The temperature in my body is hotter than before so I let out a huff to help cleanse my thoughts. Though I can't "see" I can find people attractive too and his fit physique makes me fucking horny, so yeah. Them worrying about _him_ making a move is probably dumb.

I can feel a light breeze followed by heat near me, my mother's close, I can smell her lilac perfume. "Honey you're so handsome, I bet this Eren guy won't be able to keep his hands off you, make sure you remember your pepper spray and knife."

I groan outwardly at the sheer ridiculousness of what she's just said. "Holy shit just stop! He's not a rapist and I'm not going to fuck him; alright?" He could try to rape me but I doubt he could, although I'm blind I make up well for my lack of sight with strength and keen intellect. Don't get me wrong I never let my guard down around strangers but I also don't ready my knife at every occasion.

"Just be careful and don't underestimate him." Unfortunately I'm smart enough to acknowledge she has a point, it's better I don't ever get into that kind of position in the first place. I just really, _really_ hate distrusting someone who doesn't deserve it. Eren has been the nicest person I've ever met-could he really make a 360 and try to rape me? I sigh quietly to myself, my self defense instructor told me I shouldn't trust anyone I haven't known for at least a month. My other blind colleagues say they have a family member or friend drop them off and pick them up so it's obvious if anything's wrong. God I hate giving into the fear that overtakes me during normal situations, I break into a sweat when I have to cross the road or pay with cash and it pisses me off.

"Can we please just eat?" My mother ruffles my hair and I huff in annoyance. I love my mother but she has a difficult time thinking of me as an adult. I guess it's tough for all parents but for her it's even harder because she's convinced I'm going to die on my own.

Which I won't by the way.

I'm thankful when we start eating as it finally occupies my mind for a little while.

"Wait, so let me get this straight: we go to a bar so _I_ can pickup chicks and instead _you_ get a date? What the fuck?" Jean's understandably pissed and I'm sure I'll never get sick of it. Okay, so Jean's sexy but his personality is shitty and if he _gets_ a date-which he won't-it's highly unlikely he'll keep them interested for long. His voice is so easy to tune out and it isn't like he ever says anything important anyway.

I can sense him glaring daggers into my face so I put on the cheekiest grin I can as his glaring intensifies.

"You're a bastard," he growls.

We're sitting in the McDonalds closest to my dorm room, he's eating nuggets, a Big Mac and stuffing his face with a monstor-ish coke. Even the lady working here looked at him like he'd lost his mind, and some dude had offended me by asking if we were going to share. Let's see: cut off my own tongue or exchange possible saliva with Jean? Sorry tongue. At least some choices aren't hard.

It isn't too busy right now since they just started serving lunch ten minutes ago, we always hang out now if I decide to grace him with my presence for a few hours. We even sit at the same table, the sunlight is just right, nobody comes over here so I don't have anybody breathing down my neck and Jean's face has a shadow over it so I don't have to look at him. Yeah, it's pretty much perfect.

I ignore him most of the time but today is accidental. I keep spacing out when my mind wanders back to Levi. I keep telling myself to quit acting like some lovestruck teenage girl but I've just never met anybody that I connected with so well. We talk so easily and he's fucking gorgeous...meeting and chatting with him last night was really amazing and I can't stop daydreaming about how tonight might go. If it's even half as great as last night we'll definitely be going on a second date.

Jean is getting pissed off when I talk about it because he doesn't understand how I could get a date without trying. I think Jean is trying way too hard, if he's going to meet someone they're just going to walk into his life out of nowhere. I mean, for fuck's sake you can't force it, but he can't seem to understand that. Yeah I can understand looking but he's been going through the singles in town with a fine toothed comb, which is just creepy.

"So," my thoughts are interrupted as Jean sucks loudly on his soda, "what's this poor sap look like anyway? Must be pretty ugly to date you." It's my turn to glare. Thankfully he doesn't seem cocky about it, he's just sitting there with a frown.

Levi is the opposite of ugly. He has flawless pearl skin-seriously I thought only airbrushed models looked like that?-his jet black hair is styled perfectly and his clothing was really flattering, god just don't get me started on his eyes. Even though I know he's blind they're really pretty, gray-blue like crystals. Damn he's sexy and to be perfectly honest while he has a great personality; I'm already completely blown away by his looks alone. I grit my teeth as I remind myself to think straight, I don't need this kind of distraction! I have shit to do! Actually...I'm about as busy as a retired seventy year old man and probably about as smart as Connie, except that's mainly because I'm high on sugar and hungover.

"Dude." Jean snaps his fingers in front of me, startling me out of my reverie.

"He's hot okay? What the hell do you want me to say? You want a poem? He's fuckin' hot you're fuckin' not."

I smirk at Jean's scoff. "I'm serious dude, what's he look like? You get a pic?"

"Why would I take a picture of him?"

I legitimately don't get why Jean and his buddies do half the shit they do. Their mindset is so self consumed it hurts my head, like who takes pictures of someone they just met? _Jean_, there are tons of selfies of him with ladies he randomly met and his Facebook page is lit up with tagged photos from selfies _others_ took with him. Mostly these people barely remember his name the next morning. Honestly, I don't think Levi would have liked me taking pictures of him, on top of being creeped out I doubt they hold much value to him. Personally I think it's creepy to have pictures of acquaintances on my phone. Although a photo would be nice to look at—and sexy, damn-but I wouldn't have asked him, even if I'd foreseen this conversation.

Jean is looking at me like I'm from another planet. "He has black short hair, he's uh, really thin, pale and he-"

"Dude," he leans forward, intruding in my personal space, "it sounds like a male version of Mikasa!"

My eyes must widen in shock. What the actual fuck? No. Levi is much hotter than Mikasa would be if she were even male to begin with-which she isn't. Levi's key descriptions would give that kind of idea though, but his features would beg to differ. He's way hotter.

And sexier.

And smarter.

...and shorter.

I better keep that last one to myself.

"He's only five two and he's way hotter you fuckin' freak!" I shove him and he lands roughly back into his seat.

What a jackass! Bringing my sister into a conversation involving a potential date? That's sick! Only Jean-who wants to sleep with my sister-would do this to me. Jean fucking Kirschtein is the biggest creep I know and on top of that he thinks he can get into anybody's pants. One time Connie bet him he couldn't get into _my_ pants so he reached into my pants and grabbed my ass.

Then we started punching.

"Aww, Eren found a miniature date, that's so cute." I kick his shin under the table but he merely grunts and offers no other reaction. Levi is short but I'd get my ass kicked if I called him miniature.

"Shut the fuck up, Jean." I spitefully mispronounce his name as Jean rather than as John to get on his nerves. He glares at me. Supposedly he's "European" and the correct pronunciation isn't Jean but "John" but us "nonsensical American fucks" always assume Jean. Because of this when we first met I actually had only heard his name so everything was cool until I wrote out his birthday card and misspelled his name as John. I actually felt bad because back then Jean was really just a nervous exchange student. Now he's just a pretentious asshole.

"What's he like? He blush a lot?" I frown. He does strangely enough, I don't really know why, he seems like such a cool, composed person and then on his blank face you'll get these cute pink cheeks. I honestly am not sure he's even aware of it and with him being blind it would make a hell of a lot of sense.

I finish off my burger and wash it down with my ice water.

Well, now's as good a time as any.

"Uh, he's blind." Jean stares at me as if he doesn't get it for the longest time; I wait for it to hit him as I watch his blank expression. He's so fuckin' slow. He likes to mock me but in all truth he's got a lot to work on if he thinks he's smarter than me.

He raises a brow and crosses his arms across his chest, looking confused. "Hah?" He sounds so damn obnoxious.

"He's blind," I point two fingers at my eyes, "as in...he can't see?"

"Oh." I can see the judgment in his eyes as he processes it. I kick him in the shin again, temporarily breaking his concentration.

"It's an impairment, like yours. You know, where you don't have a brain. Doctors were lucky to have saved your life." He glowers heavily at me but I stare back expressionlessly. I swear if he says something negative I'm going to shove my fist into his face. I get it if he doesn't date blind people, that's fine; but it doesn't bug me so he needs act like an adult for once and try to accept that. He can keep his opinions to himself.

Of course he opens his big mouth, "So you gotta hand feed him and hold his hand everywhere he goes, huh? Sounds like a lotta fun Eren, escorting an old lady around." He's trying to piss me off, although I think he means it too even though he's partially only saying it to get a rise out of me. I'm not in the mood for it either way.

I stand up abruptly, ignoring his shouts of protest as I head for the door, throwing out my trash on the way. We're friends, Jean and I but sometimes I can't stand him, he's a pretentious shithead who thinks he's above everyone else and that his opinion is superior. The type of guy who thinks he knows the best for you even about what you should have for breakfast.

I hate him, I really do.

But I also enjoy hanging out with him, he introduces me to cool people, convinces me to do new things and is always there to challenge me into finishing assignments when I get lazy. Even though I hate him, I also kinda don't, it's confusing as fuck.

I flop into the driver's seat of my car and turn on the ignition just as my phone starts jingling in my pocket. Fuck, he's so lazy he can't even come get me? I pull it from my pocket and blink in surprise at the number on my screen; mom? Why would she be calling? I answer since she only ever calls me to invite me to have dinner or because something's wrong, either way I don't want to miss out. "Hey Mom, what-"

"Oh my god, Eren guess who's coming over this weekend!" she sounds like those girls on television who just got to meet their favorite celebrity.

There are two people I can think she'd get this excited over, my father or my grandmother. I'm willing to bet my life's savings it's my dad since my grandmother was here a week ago. I brighten up at the prospect of seeing him, even if I don't get to talk to him much I love it when I get to see him regardless. My concern over Jean's opinion is melting away quickly, I can go see my dad as soon as he arrives and spend awhile at home like I'd planned in the first place!

"Dad! When is he-"

"No silly." I deflate like a popped balloon, sinking into my chair. Who could she possibly be so excited over? "Armin is coming home for the summer! You guys should try to reconnect. I'm having him over for dinner." Armin.

I stare out my wind shield at the gray clouds forming in the distance as I struggle to form an appropriate reply.

It's been years since we last saw each other in person. Even when we broke up we only talked over the phone once. Though it was a neutral decision that we both thought was for best of both of us, it was still a breakup. We haven't hardly talked since then, except he emailed me once a year ago to ask me how I was and after I told him I was fine, he let me be. I thought my life would feel empty without Armin, but it doesn't. I still have friends, I even have a date tonight, there's really nothing for me to miss—well, except his constant company but I guess in a sense I was relieved to have all my free time to myself. For awhile at least.

I haven't been tempted to get in contact with him since then, except the occasional stray thought reminding me it's easier to come crawling back than to be strong and move on. Nobody wants unfamiliar things to go away, even if it's better if they do. Mikasa stayed in touch, she told me Armin handled our breakup well and I'm secretly hoping he has somebody so my mother will drop the notion immediately.

"Mom," I finally manage as she's getting ready to ask if I'm okay. "I can't, I have a date."

She perks up even more, "You have a date? With who?"

"His name is Levi, um..." I glance over and Jean is exiting the McDonalds to come over and irritate me, I don't have time for this, plus I'm in no frame of mind for this type of conversation. "Oh, Mom I gotta go, my boss is calling. I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay but-"

"Bye." I hang up and rest my face on the steering wheel as Jean raps on my window.

This is my life, just when I think I'm going to have a normal summer some weird shit has to happen.

I ignore Jean until he climbs into the passenger's seat and pokes me about thirty times soundlessly like a toddler. I'm tempted to bite his finger off and punch him in the face but that would take too much effort. "What the fuck do you want?" I snap.

He scowls, eyes serious as he observes me for a long moment as if gauging my mood or trying to figure out what's bothering me. While he might not be particularly quick I know damn well that he'll figure it out, he's smart if given the time.

"Oh shit dude, is Armin trying to get you to go out with him?" Close enough I guess. He can read me better than my mom, she doesn't seem capable of sensing my distress. I take a minute to run over our conversation only for my train of thought to be derailed, "You could totally bang him."

"What?" I demand in shock. All my heat instantly abandons all other parts of my body to go to my cheeks. For a second he seems to consider his words before shrugging it off as if to say _your loss._ I punch him in the arm harder than intended, he grabs the hurt bicep with a wince.

"It was just a suggestion! Aren't you gonna bang shorty tonight too?" I put my head in my hands. Fuck me. Fuck my life. Why is Jean trying to convince me to lose my virginity to a complete stranger? And why the fuck is he calling him shorty when I told him _specifically_ what his name was?

"Just, oh my god, shut up."

I can hear the smirk in his voice, "You've thought about it."

My embarrassment is so off the charts I start rocking back and forth in my seat, tempted to slam my face into the steering wheel.

"Urg! Go home, Horse Face!"

It's silent, when I look up to glare at him I'm instantly mortified by the way he's wriggling his eyebrows and leaning closer. If anybody was watching us they'd probably think he was suggesting he bang me instead. Oh shit, as much as I hate him he's fucking hot, I'd-

-I'd _die_.

Please I just want to disappear.

"Okay, okay I'll go." He exits but not before leaning in with a hushed, mocking tone, "Just be careful buddy, shorty might molest you."

"I'll fuck you up!" He shuts the door, laughing his ass off.

I'm seriously fucking tempted to run him over.


End file.
